Ep 1 . 40 Is Your Sixth Sense: On Friendship, Creativity, and Being Cool Because You're You with Kate Schmieding
You start to see with your ears and listen with your belly.
That's how my first guest, Kate Schmieding, describes what happens when you turn 40. It's your sixth sense—you begin to recognize what you already knew but can now KNOW. Really know. Like trust makes a sound. Or love is a soft surface.
In this conversation, Kate and I talk about:
→ Friendship in your 40s (her 3-strikes rule, why reciprocity matters, how to stop forcing connections that aren't reciprocal)
→ Being cool because you're YOU (not performing, claiming who you've always been, "I recognize the cool in me as the cool in you")
→ Creative work without overnight success (Kate writes pop culture poetry—staying in the "low hum" instead of chasing viral moments)
→ You're not a late bloomer ("I've been blooming this whole time, my friends. I just haven't given it a name.")
→ Doing things because you WANT to (not because you're supposed to—this is your permission slip)
→ The midlife squeeze (parenting, work, everyone depending on you—and how to navigate it without losing yourself)
This episode is about claiming yourself. Your creativity. Your friendships. Your life.
Not someday. Right now.
ABOUT KATE:
Kate Schmieding (rhymes with meeting) is a writer, poet, creative leader, joiner, hand-raiser, and hard-conversation-haver. She writes pop culture poetry on Instagram, lives in upstate New York, and is deeply committed to the bit of being herself. She's also one of the most generous friends I know.
Find her on Instagram: @kateschmieding
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If you're over 40: What have you learned, earned, and burned? What do you wish someone had told you?
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The more of us who commit to the bit of being ourselves, the kinder and more beautiful this world becomes.
00:00 Welcome & Episode Intro
02:44 Meeting Kate (and the instant friend feeling)
06:24 The 3-strikes rule for friendship
11:46 What friendship is actually about in your 40s
16:52 Circumstantial vs. chosen relationships
18:23 Who are you without job titles and accomplishments?
22:39 Writing poetry at 40 (alchemy and magic)
28:17 Holding yourself so you can hold others
33:54 "I'm cool because I feel like myself"
38:01 Where Kate feels most at home (writing, gym, friendships)
41:45 Not being an overnight success (staying in the low hum)
44:57 "I'm not a late bloomer—I've been blooming the whole time"
48:00 Learning to care less about conflict
49:35 Kate's growing edge: reciprocity
52:46 The 40 Portal notebook origin story
58:00 Kate's poem: "40 Is Your Sixth Sense"
01:02:06 Outro & Retreat Invitation
CREDITS:
Hosted by Catherine Zack
Guest: Kate Schmieding
Edited by Ruwantha Gunasinghe
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