Ep 2. I’m Doing the Dance: On full Plates and Holding Complexity in your 40s with Clara Artschwager
Life is full. Your plate is full. You're doing the dance.
In this conversation, Clara Artschwager and I talk about what it means to navigate the fullness of midlife — the work, the kids, the relationships, the inner reckoning — without emotionally freaking out all the time.
We met four years ago. Clara wasn't married yet. She didn't have kids. We clicked on business stuff. Now we're walking through multiple portals together: motherhood, marriage, creative work, the midlife squeeze. Our friendship has grown with us through voice memos, those timeless-yet-totally-2026 conversations that feel like we're back in the 90s with the phone cord wrapped around us.
In this episode, we talk about:
→ Female friendship in your 40s: How friendships can grow with you as you move through different life stages
→ "I'm doing the dance": The fullness of midlife and holding complexity without losing yourself
→ How women solve the world's problems through voice memos alone
→ "There's no there there": Letting go of "if I can just get to THIS point, then I'll be happy"
→ Contentedness in your 40s: Being delighted by what you already own
→ Doing the inner work in community: Why Portal work is better together
ABOUT CLARA: Clara Artschwager is a coach, writer, and teacher who helps people do the foundational work of becoming themselves — before, during, and beyond relationships. She's curious about why we are the way we are, and she's spent years guiding clients through the deep reckoning that transforms how we show up in every area of our lives. Clara cooks with the exact right ratio of butter and salt, loves a good voice memo, good book, & good pastry, and is doing the midlife dance with grace.
Find her: @ithinkilikeyou.co https://claraartschwager.substack.com/
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00:00 Welcome & Episode Intro
04:21 How we met (professional portal → personal portal)
06:51 Female friendships in your 40s that grow with you through different life stages
08:43 "I'm doing the dance" - the fullness of midlife
12:48 Voice memo friendships (timeless and of this moment)
15:45 Introducing yourself without your resume
19:18 Holding complexity in your 40s: What you can hold now that you couldn't before
25:21 "No bad days" - not emotionally freaking out when plates are spinning
32:36 "There's no there there" - letting go of external fixes
33:08 What would surprise your 10-years-ago self about you today
38:39 Being delighted by what you already own (contentedness in your 40s)
42:03 Contentedness vs. content consumption in your 40s
46:55 40 Portal wisdom: "I wish I had been told I didn't have to be married to be successful"
50:03 How do we be in relationship without losing ourselves in midlife?
56:11 Outro & Retreat Invitation
Your voice is needed in this podcast.
If you're over 40: What have you learned, earned, and burned? What do you wish someone had told you?
If you're under 40: What's the open question you're living? What longing, desire, fear, or dream do you want to put out into the universe?
Send your handwritten wisdom: the40portal.com/submit
Your handwriting is your voice.
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🌐 Website: the40portal.com | catherinezack.com
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Hosted by Catherine Zack
Guest: Clara Artschwager
Edited by Ruwantha Gunasinghe
© 2026 The 40 Portal. All rights reserved.
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